General

I think when I was growing up, I thought that dating was something only teenagers and young adults did.  I never really thought about love and relationships later in life. Divorce was a rarity in my 1970’s childhood and I only had a few friends with separated parents as I grew older.  Now that I’ve made it to my fifties though, the world of love and relationships seems like a different place.  Many people need to start on a new relationship later in life and it’s so much more common to be looking around for a new companion later in life.

Back in my teens and twenties, I found new boyfriends by meeting people in the pub or through friends.  It was usually much easier to tell if someone was already taken: there was usually someone around who knew.  Then as I got older the workplace was another potential source of relationships and again it was easy enough to know who was available.  It’s very difficult though now, I find.  If I meet someone through work, or at a pub, it’s difficult to know if they are married or not.  Not all married men wear a ring and those in long term, unmarried relationships won’t wear one anyway.  It’s tricky.  That’s where a good dating site comes into its own – be sure to pick out some good photos for your profile.

There is a need for a little wariness as there are people around who want to cheat on their other halves by using dating apps and pretending they are single.  There are others who won’t want a longer term relationship and will want to play the field.  It’s easier than ever to check up on someone online these days though. It’s amazing the information you can glean on social media.  If they aren’t into that, you can fall back on old fashioned techniques like seeing if they want to introduce you to friends or family or whether they are reluctant to do so.  Online dating doesn’t have to be difficult and it’s best to approach it with an open mind.

There’s much to celebrate too as there are plenty of things that are easier than dating when you are younger.  If you are dating later in life, having children is less likely to be an issue.  Most will have been there and done that, or will have decided or accepted that it’s not something that’s going to happen to them.  You both will very likely have some baggage, but anyone realistic will expect someone their age to have some baggage, so it’s unlikely to be a problem unless it’s something you haven’t come to terms with.

Hopefully everyone is past the game playing stage, if they ever did that.  If they aren’t, life has taught the rest of us to recognise that quickly and you can cut out some of that nonsense early on.  I find it easier to realise when someone is on the same wave length as me now I’m older.  I do find it easier to know if a relationship is going to develop at a much earlier stage.  I draw on my previous experience of relationships; my knowledge of people; and my self awareness.

When you are climbing back onto the dating ladder after a relationship breakdown, these days you are probably considering online dating.  Of course, it’s still possible to meet someone through friends, or a hobby, etc., but it’s often tricky to know who is single or open to the idea of a new romantic relationship.  Online dating means that at least the other people are interested in meeting someone new, although there are a number of other hurdles to navigate your way around.

There are plenty of free dating sites uk out there, but they will all want you to provide a picture as part of your online dating profile.   So what are the most important things to do when picking out a suitable photo to use? You don’t just want a picture that makes you look like a model, it’s more important to have one that gets across your personality and your true self.

Make sure your picture looks like you

You don’t want to start a date badly by having a picture that doesn’t look like you.  It’s best to avoid older photos, maybe make five years old your cut off point, or if you have dramatically changed your look more recently than that, exclude photos of the old you (unless you are the kind of person who changes their look very regularly). An image that reflects how you really look and captures something of your personality is more likely to result in you achieving your Match Me Happy goals.

Make sure your picture is a good quality one

Don’t put up a picture that is blurry or badly cropped.  If you can’t get the photo to look how you want by careful, tasteful cropping, it’s probably not the one for you.  Photos where you are too far away aren’t good.  It’s not a good idea to go photoshop crazy as that will just look false and if you do use a professional photographer, be sure to look at examples of previous work so you can get a feel for how their portrait shots tend to look.

Use more than one picture

It is a good idea to have a few pictures in your profile.  By including more images, it will be easier to get across your personality and your interests. More than one picture shows you have put some effort into your online dating profile and that you are serious about finding a new relationship.  Make sure as a minimum that you include one headshot looking at the camera and one full body picture.  Once you have these in your porfolio, you can branch out a little.  Maybe consider having a combination of face, full-body, action, dressed up, dressed down, serious, and fun shots. The point is to give potential matches a peek into your personality, background, and interests.  Generally it’s better to avoid a group shot: you don’t want a potential date to be keen on you because they want to meet one of your friends.  Also, it can be difficult to pick out a person in a group shot and it could cause confusion.

It’s worth investing a little time and thought in the selection of your profile pictures, to help you find a good match for you.  Good luck with your dating.

Reading has been a real lifeline for me during lockdown. I love it anyway, but it’s been the perfect entertainment, especially when the better weather has meant that sitting out in the garden is an option. New books arriving in the house have always been a source of excitement and never more so when we are going out and about into the world a bit less.  For me books are a form of escapism, so I’m less likely to miss that foreign holiday when I have a fantasy world to escape into.

If you have been feeling the same about reading and books as I have, you’ll be pleased to hear that I have a bundle of books to give away to one lucky reader.  Read the descriptions below to find out all about the books I have to give away and see if you’d like the chance to win them.

Call Me Joe

The environment, society and mankind itself are facing extreme challenges in a world that is both more connected, and yet more divided than ever before. Fear and confusion seep into all parts of everyday life… now, more than ever, the world needs one voice, one guide…One day the Earth is plunged into darkness and when light appears again so does a man –call him Joe –claiming to be the son of God. Can Joe bring the world’s most creative thinkers and leaders together to tackle the ills of mankind? Can he convince us all to follow him before it’s too late? In Call Me Joe, Martin van Es and Andrew Crofts highlight the key concerns of our time and imagine a future where we, at last, all work together to ensure the future of our world and all the life that calls it home.

Awakening of Spies

Thomas Dylan is an unlikely spy. Rejected by MI6he joins the Ministry of Defence where his first mission is a total failure. Unexpectedly he is sent to Rio de Janeiro to recover a submarine interrogator stolen from the US Navy. In Brazil he discovers that those supposedly on his side, MI6 and the CIA, have their own priorities and that his life is definitely not one of them.A murderous game which began with the death of a British spy in Argentina is being played out in a city of sun, sea and secret police. When Dylan comes face-to-face with the brutal realities of Brazil’s military dictatorship he knows he has to trust somebody. But who? The only thing he knows for sure that the woman he wants to trust has been lying to him from the very beginning -should he take the risk? Awakening of Spies is a fast-paced thriller in the vein of John le Carré and Agatha Christe.

No Precedent

No Precedent is the “poignant, funny, thoughtful and raw” sequel to Where’s Sailor Jack?, due for release in July 2020 by novelist John Uttley. The northern grammar school pals Bob Swarbrick and Richard Shackleton are back, now facing the era of Brexit, Momentum and Donald Trump. For the first time in their lives, Bob and Richard struggle to see the meaning of it all. The trials and renewals of Where’s Sailor Jack? (John Uttley’s debut novel released in 2015) behind them, they find themselves in a world whose faith and politics have moved beyond their sphere of influence and feel increasingly cut off from their roots. Bob, now settled with Wendy, must reconcile old memories and new children while Richard must save his family from themselves. Along the way, they are adopted by the lascivious Lucy Fishwick and her predatory daughter Maddie, whose lives are as mad and chaotic as the radio play Lucy is trying to write and, indeed, the world itself. But despite the coming plague, it doesn’t look like Armageddon. There is to be an apocalypse, but one of personal dimensions. We don’t all go together when we go!

A Wash of Black

IT’S NOT LIFE THAT IMITATES ART. IT’S DEATH.
Anna Symons. Famous. Talented. Dead. The body of a famous actress is found mutilated on an ice rink in Manchester, recreating a scene from a blockbuster film she starred in years ago.  DI Erika Piper, having only recently returned to work after suffering a near-fatal attack herself, finds she must once again prove her worth as the hunt for the media-dubbed ‘Blood Ice Killer’ intensifies.  But when another body is found and, this time, the killer issues a personal threat, Erika must put aside her demons to crack the case, or suffer the deadly consequences. A Wash of BlackA Wash of Black will keep you on the edge of your seat.

If you’d like to win this bundle of fab books, enter via the Gleam widget below.

Competition Terms and Conditions

1. No bulk, third-party or automated entries allowed.

2. Entrants must be aged 18 years or older and resident in the UK.

3. The winner or winners will be chosen by a random draw using the competition widget.

4. Promoter is responsible for fulfilling the prize and full contact details of the winner will be passed onto the promoter to enable prize fulfillment.

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6. Competition closes at the end of Sunday 9th August 2020.

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