
Photo by Christine von Raesfeld on Unsplash
I think when I was growing up, I thought that dating was something only teenagers and young adults did. I never really thought about love and relationships later in life. Divorce was a rarity in my 1970’s childhood and I only had a few friends with separated parents as I grew older. Now that I’ve made it to my fifties though, the world of love and relationships seems like a different place. Many people need to start on a new relationship later in life and it’s so much more common to be looking around for a new companion later in life.
Back in my teens and twenties, I found new boyfriends by meeting people in the pub or through friends. It was usually much easier to tell if someone was already taken: there was usually someone around who knew. Then as I got older the workplace was another potential source of relationships and again it was easy enough to know who was available. It’s very difficult though now, I find. If I meet someone through work, or at a pub, it’s difficult to know if they are married or not. Not all married men wear a ring and those in long term, unmarried relationships won’t wear one anyway. It’s tricky. That’s where a good dating site comes into its own – be sure to pick out some good photos for your profile.
There is a need for a little wariness as there are people around who want to cheat on their other halves by using dating apps and pretending they are single. There are others who won’t want a longer term relationship and will want to play the field. It’s easier than ever to check up on someone online these days though. It’s amazing the information you can glean on social media. If they aren’t into that, you can fall back on old fashioned techniques like seeing if they want to introduce you to friends or family or whether they are reluctant to do so. Online dating doesn’t have to be difficult and it’s best to approach it with an open mind.
There’s much to celebrate too as there are plenty of things that are easier than dating when you are younger. If you are dating later in life, having children is less likely to be an issue. Most will have been there and done that, or will have decided or accepted that it’s not something that’s going to happen to them. You both will very likely have some baggage, but anyone realistic will expect someone their age to have some baggage, so it’s unlikely to be a problem unless it’s something you haven’t come to terms with.
Hopefully everyone is past the game playing stage, if they ever did that. If they aren’t, life has taught the rest of us to recognise that quickly and you can cut out some of that nonsense early on. I find it easier to realise when someone is on the same wave length as me now I’m older. I do find it easier to know if a relationship is going to develop at a much earlier stage. I draw on my previous experience of relationships; my knowledge of people; and my self awareness.
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